Dear Benjamin,

We couldn’t possibly know your actual day of birth, but we know your due date, so January 18, 2018 is the date that will forever stain our memories in a dark hue of blue. This is the day we will stop dead in our tracks of a frantic morning, thinking of you. Remembering our love for you. 

Today you would have made us so many things, but these are the biggest:

Your presence alone would have humbled us. Not only by the decision your biological mother would have decided to make for you, but humbled to be chosen as your parents, too..... which leads me to the next. 

We would have been your parents. 

Parents. 

Two adults responsible not only for your safety and well-being but responsible for late night feedings, changing diapers and singing you lullabies. 

Responsible for teaching you what is right and what is wrong. Responsible in showing you how to spread Gods love to others, even when you wouldn’t even want to show your own love to them. 

Responsible for showing you how to love selflessly. Responsible for raising you up to be a God Fearing but most of all a God Loving human. 

Responsible for showing you what a strong and loving marriage looks like. Teaching you how to love and support your spouse. 

Today you would have made us a family. 

A family that spends too much time together but isn’t a family of weirdos for it. 

A family that starts new traditions with each passing year. 

A family who would celebrate your adoption day AND birthday. 

A family that was always late for band or soccer or theatre practice. 

A family that extended into Jesses and Mine; blending together like water colors, creating one beautiful portrait of support and love. 

Today would have made us ANXIOUS. 

Oh sweet child, would we have loved you fiercely, but meeting a brand new tiny human is anxiety-inducing for anyone! 

We would argue as we rushed around to gather our things for the hospital, while your brother-pups would have been sent into an excited frenzy. 

Instead of crying for our loss today, I choose to celebrate you and all of the things you will have instead. 

Today is a day your mother will never forget. 

You were brought into this world and placed into the arms of the woman who carried you for 9 months. 

The arms of a woman who wanted everything for you that she was scared she couldn’t give you. 

Today you will meet your new sister. 

She picks her nose, which is obviously gross, but you’ll love her anyway. 

You will create a bond with your sister instantly, I am sure of it. She has loved you throughout your time in your moms tummy and I am sure has jumped for absolute joy over your arrival. 

Today your dad will find out you were born. Maybe he will be there, snatching you from the doctors hands and basking in the beauty of such a beautiful little person being made up of his very own DNA.

Today you will be scared as most newborns are but no worries, sweet boy. You are exactly where your Creator has planned for you to be. 

You were our little blessing when we knew you in her womb, but now God can use you to be a blessing to these “three strangers” you are just meeting.

I pray you are loved with as much fierceness as we would have welcomed you into this world with. 

I pray that you are a message and a blessing to your mom that she CAN do this; that you are WORTH doing this. 

I pray that your dad gains a new life perspective, knowing that he has a pair of handsome little eyes and ears that are not only hearing but also watching his choices in life. 

Today, I pray for God to keep you safe. I pray for God to show you his love through every distant family member and stranger. 

Today I pray that your Mom and Dad make you one of their top priorities in life. 

I pray that you and your sister spark a bond unlike anything else.

I pray wonderful and countless blessings for your family. 

Why?

Because we loved you. 

Welcome to this crazy world, Benjamin.